Let’s make this quick… “Annie” is a jaw-droppingly shitty movie.
You know, I should end the review there. Never before have I seen a movie of this kind that seems to have such an open and unhidden hatred for its audience and its genre. That genre, of course, being musicals. Musicals only work if (a) the music is actually good, and (b) the story surround the music is compelling. Neither is the case here as the story drips with ooey-gooey sentimentality that becomes sickening five minutes in. And, the music?
Well, the music is mostly composed of shitty and uninteresting numbers. Some of the more popular songs from the original musical don’t make an appearance here. Surprisingly, director of the music was none other than the ultra-talented Sia. Yet, the music here sounds generic and flat. And, your main actress, Quvenzhane Wallis, sing-talks her way through musical numbers that feel just about as fun as jury duty.
This movie sucks.
I cannot believe how wrong this entire production was, from the acting, to the directing choices. Everything here feels cheap and manipulative, and everyone in the movie looks like they just want it to be over. Who fares the worst is definitely Cameron Diaz. Her performance is so awful, it’s like watching an elementary school play. It’s embarrassing. In fact, the only actor who seemed somewhat comfortable in their role was Jamie Foxx. Makes sense, because he is the most versatile performer in the film. He can sing, he can act, he can dance, and he’s funny. It’s just to bad that this script constantly undercuts all that with wrongheaded choices.
It’s like the filmmakers are embarrassed to be making a musical. So, what you essentially get is a movie that is actively at war with itself, never fully committing to being what it is… That’s depressing. This whole movie is depressing.
I mean, we can talk about the film technically speaking, but every creative choice feels wrong. There are straight-up just awful editing choices, which I assume are a byproduct of a cinematographer who has no idea what they’re doing. The whole entire production is dunderheaded in a way that I haven’t seen in years. This is a straight-up awful movie. Annie is indeed one of the worst movies I’ve seen all year.